Want to know what happened in Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2? Here’s the scoop.

The Guardians of the Galaxy are bantering and preparing to fight a thing from another dimension and baby Groot dances around to music while a battle happens in the background. They kill the thing and the people that hired them turn over Gamora’s sister Nebula as payment for protecting the batteries the thing was coming to eat but they are very condescending about it. They leave, but the snobs come after them because they discover that Rocket stole some of the batteries as extra payment. Rocket and Star Lord get into a pissing contest as they try to escape with thousands of remote controlled ships coming after them. They go thorough a dangerous asteroid field, but it doesn’t help because the other ships just go around. Then an egg flies out of space and shoots them all down as the Guardians jump through a space hole to another planet and crash from the damage they took.

Star Lord and Rocket yell at each other for a bit trying to blame each other for the crash but the egg shows up and the team meets Star Lord’s dad and a bug lady called Mantis. Star dad says he’s been looking for Peter for ages and invites them to come back with him to his planet, because he has a planet of his own, and Peter decides to check it out. Gamora and Drax come along, but they leave Rocket and Groot to watch the ship and Nebula. Meanwhile the snob leader hunts down Yandu and hires him and the Ravagers to track the Guardians and get the batteries back.

Once they get to Star Dad’s planet he tells them the story of how he’s a Celestial, and that he actually is the planet, and that the person they are talking to is kind of just a part of him that he created so he could explore the universe, and how he fell in love with Star Mom, but had to leave because the person part of him can’t be away from the planet part of him for too long. This also means that Star Lord is part god and could potentially have crazy planet powers. Mantis can also read emotions and put people to sleep, so that’s a thing. She and Drax form a friendship and she tries to warn him that Star Dad is crazy evil but keeps getting interrupted.

Back at the ship, the Ravagers attack but Rocket set up a lot of traps in the forest and manages to hold them off for a while. He’s eventually overrun and captured and Yandu decides to betray the snobs and just sell the batteries but that leads to a Ravager mutiny, which he loses when Nebula gets free and assists the mutineers. Yandu, Groot and Rocket are taken by the ravagers into space and Nebula takes one of their ships to go after Gamora. Rocket and Yandu bond a bit in their cell and eventually manage to get access to Yandu’s flying arrow weapon and kill just about everyone, blow up the ship, and escape. They decide to head to Star Dad’s planet to save Star Lord. But, before the ship blows up the head of the mutineers tells the snob where they are going.
Star Dad then reveals to Peter that his dream is to become the universe, and he’s been spreading parts of himself across a ton of planets, he just needs Star Lord’s power to help him extend himself to take them all over. Star Lord is a bit pissed about this and the knowledge that Star Dad killed Star Mom, but Star Dad captures him and starts using him as a battery. Nebula and Gamora have a fight and then a sister bonding moment and find the bones of Star Dad’s other children and Mantis finally tells Drax that Star Dad is evil, so pretty much everyone shows up at the same time to rescue Star Lord. Rocket and Yandu show up with a drilling ship and they bore into the planet to try to kill Star Dad before he can regain control over Star Lord. Mantis manages to keep Star Dad asleep for a little bit and Rocket builds a bomb out of the batteries to blow up Star Dad’s brain but only baby Groot is small enough to get there. Star Dad wakes up and Star Lord has to fight him off, and then the snobs show up and are generally a nuisance and prevent the rest of the team from helping. Groot manages to set the bomb and everyone tries to leave in a hurry before it blows up the planet, but there isn’t enough time to get Star Lord, and they don’t have enough space suits so Yandu sacrifices himself to get Star Lord out. The other ravagers show up and honor Yandu’s sacrifice by giving him a huge firework show funeral while the Guardians contemplate the meaning of family.